I had my first prenatal visit yesterday. We did an ultrasound but it is still too early to see much other than the fact that there is a pregnancy sack with a yolk and a baby in it. All good news. We are five weeks and six days pregnant, too early yet for a heartbeat. The dating of the pregnancy gives us a due date however. We are looking at a due date of July 11th 2009. The doctor wants me to stop nursing immediately, which I expected would be his response. When it became clear that I don't intend to and that my husband and I had already discussed in depth the pros vs cons of said choice he said " Well we will go forward then and hope for a good turn out and if we don't get one then we will have to be aware of the fact that a definite decision was made at the outset." He reiterated several times that I have a extremely high risk pregnancy and that all steps that can be taken to reduce the risk should be. He told me that I should take it extremely easy and spend as much time as I can sitting. I didn't laugh outright but please spend as much time sitting as I can with an active one year old on the prowl. Ummm not happening.

It was pointed out to me that the stress of nursing would be a new dynamic to the pregnancy that we didn't have last time, thus making it perhaps more risky. But then having a toddler at all is a new dynamic that will make pregnancy more risky. So we are embarking on a journey with lots of risk and no guarantees. So it basically sounds like any other pregnancy that I have had : ) There is little that I can do about the added stresses. If I could ship my little one off I wouldn't and the lack of guarantee hardly inspires in me the desire to immediately stop nursing my child when she is not ready to wean. She will let me know when it is time and we will take that journey together, when it is time.

Before you start thinking that I am taking foolish risks, I am not. I have researched my choice very carefully. I have read up on the risks and the possible problems. I have also read up on the flip side of it all. Yes nursing can cause contractions... however the contraction that are caused are not as strong as the contractions caused by orgasm during sex. Also the risk of those contractions is not great until you reach 20 weeks at which point my milk would have dried up and the baby would most likely wean herself. ( most do) Also once you reach the 20th week if the babe still wants to nurse then the contractions are more compared to Braxton Hicks than real labor contractions. They also usually stop when stimulation of the breast is stopped. So being as Braxton Hicks are expected by 20 weeks and I can stop nursing her if we have a problem I am not in favor of traumatising my daughter by cutting her off when it is a source of security for her. NOT to mention I can't sit out this pregnancy like the last one. A is walking and I am her primary caregiver. She isn't going to sit in one place because mommy needs her to. So I am going to put my faith in God and do what is needed to keep my family's life flowing.

Speaking of the light of my life she is sitting behind me right now in her highchair attempting to feed her self sweet potatoes. There are somethings that I just don't want to watch happen. I will clean the mess up when she is finished, and she is thrilled to dip the spoon in the food over and over again slopping it all over. Right now we are addressing a very sore butt. This is the first diaper rash that she has gotten so you will have to forgive me for the panic. My mother looked at it when I mentioned going to the doc and said "It's really not that bad. I've seen worse even on your butt when you were little." So I have calmed down a bit. I am changing her butt every 30-45 minutes need it or not to put more cream on it and let it to the air a little. Yes I am a freak but I am really not interested in my child hurting. One time when my stepson Keagan came over for a weekend his butt was so sore that it made me cry changing his diaper. He was such a little trooper telling me that it felt better now Lissa when we were done and I was crying as hard as he was. I DO NOT ever want to have to feel that bad again about my child's butt. So I am busy putting every possible fix on her butt at the same time, and yes perhaps I am a little psycho about it... but there is little that I find as heartwrenching as that cry that says " that hurts so bad" when I could keep it from happening. So I have preoccupied with the care of my favorite bottom in the world. Here's hoping that it gets better soon.