It has come and gone again. So many blessings this year, too many to count. This was the first year that we had a Christmas morning with the biggest of our blessings. And as she was so young this year it was not fully understood... but by the end of the day she was getting the hang of the opening presents thing. After our girl opened her gifts at our house. ( There were only 3 so it was relatively quick) we went to my parents house for breakfast. We all pitched in and 2 made a wonderful breakfast scramble with zucchini eggs cheese and sausage while 2 others put the roast in for dinner. Coffee cake for a treat. Shortly after breakfast my brothers started showing up. When all of us were there we opened a few presents and watched two very girls play all sorts of new fun things. Then we were once again gathered around the table this time to eat a roast and veggies followed by yummy pie. Then to help our meals to settle we all had a latte made with the cappuccino machine Dave got for Christmas from my parents. Then we settled in for the night on clean fresh new sheets ( a gift to me from my parents).
At no point, unfortunately, was there a good time to A down for a nap... and so our little angel became a demon seed before too long. So tired that when it was time to lie down and go night night she couldn't settle herself into sleep. A little after eleven o'clock she finally fitfully fretfully fell into sleep. Only to wake us again at seven thirty the next morning... or should I say wake mommy the next morning. Daddy can sleep through a freight train and so a small package like A is hardly likely to wake him. She was excited to come back out to the new toys and play all over again. And with an early nap she was back to herself. Which is generally an easy going and level tempered child.
This Christmas was marked by blessing and loss. My sister-in-law delivered a beautiful baby girl into the world on Sunday Dec 21st at 6:48 AM. Tipping the scale at 7 lbs and 1.8 ounces she was 19 inches long. She was only a little late and was a very very accommodating baby as she waited until her mommy's finals were done and mommy had nothing to do but wait for baby. This is the first niece or nephew that I have had since I had Ashlynn. All others have been born at various different stages of trying or being or having lost a pregnancy. ( Or were born before I started dating Dave) It was a new experience for me. You see with the rest of them I had a sense of joy that was more focused on a baby and being an Aunt etc. With our little M. for the first time ever I had an incredible sense of excitement and expectation for my sister in law. You see, for the first time.... I knew what it meant for Shannon that she was a mother. For the first time I was overjoyed because I knew that someone new in this world was on the road to discover that overwhelming love and gratitude that motherhood brings. She embarked on a journey that includes a great deal of self-discovery as well as the discovery of a new person. This world will be opened anew for her as she watches it being discovered through the eyes of a child. That wonder and awe will be transmuted into her and she will be blessed because of it. So Congrats to Shannon and M. May there be many many years of happiness.
Unfortunately on Christmas day my cousin lost her baby. They had been trying for several years and were overjoyed at the prospect of becoming parents. As I am many miles away I have been keeping in touch via e-mail and trying to keep her spirits up through it all. There are so few words that make something like this right. It seems so unfair. And of all days the day when miracles are supposed to happen. Strangely I have suffered with many friends during the loss of a baby or a pregnancy, this is again the first time since I have had a healthy baby born that has survived. It has hit me harder as I know now what has been lost. Before I had a loss of dreams and hope. I would be filled with a desperation of wanting a child and being terrified that I would never have one during my own losses. I felt the the loss the same manner for friends who were in the process of miscarriage or who were grieving a baby's death. This time it is slightly different. As I watch my cousin grieve in the same manner I did two and three years ago, I am heartbroken for the experiences that this steals from her. In so many ways it seems so unfair. The one solace that I have is that I have been through this loss and because of my own experience I can perhaps be some small bit of help and hope. So my condolences to J and B. May you always know how very much I love you.
The holiday is over now and I am grateful for it to be over. We focus now on the coming new year and the promise that it offers. My Dave's birthday is on New Years Eve so we focus in our household on Daddy having a wonderful birthday. We focus on getting a USB cord so that I can share the photos with you that I have been taking of my daughter..... I am about ready to break a leg or two as he insists that he knows where it is and to give him a bit and he will get it for me... but that it is in with his cords and stuff so that HE needs to get it.... This has been going on since roughly August and MOMMY IS RUNNING OUT OF PATIENCE.... especially as he has a port on his computer that lets him down load from the memory card. I may just hijack his computer.....But some how some way I will have pictures on this blog very soon.... by hook or by crook. ( that is fair warning to you David)
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