Happy Thanksgiving ....albeit a little late.

Yes I am sorry this post should have been posted on Thursday I suppose. But I was a bit busy on Thursday... you see I hosted my first Thanksgiving. Various other plans fell through and my parents always have theirs on Sunday... so when I was talking about what to do my mom suggested that I make Thanksgiving dinner. At first she suggested it for our little family pointing out that I DO have a family of my own now to celebrate these types of holidays. Then when I realized that she and my father would be doing nothing for the actual holiday it was decided that I would do the feast and we would eat it at their house. (Our house is not big enough and we do not have a table that we can eat around {something I would like to recitfy.})
I was a little nervous as this is the first time that I was in charge of the entire meal. I have made turkeys before and I have done every part of a feast as a dish to pass in the past...but I have never been responsible for the entire feast. Timing and what have you has to be perfect to make a meal a meal and not just a series of dishes that get done when the get done.
It turned out wonderful... albeit a little late. We had planned on eating at one... and we didn't sit down until nearly four, because despite following the cooking times I found on several recipes and the bird its self it took a lot longer for that stupid little popper to pop up. Like nearly two hours longer... and then no sooner did that dad-blamed bird get done then my oldest daughter ( who had been having a hell of a break down) drifted off into dream land! It was not good timing to say the least.... but the directions on the bird said to wait at least a half an hour before carving the turkey so that is what we did.... allowing her a short nap... but better than nothing at all!
When we did finally sit down to dinner we had turkey, dressing, mashed sweet potatoes and marshmallow salad to eat.... and it stuffed us all like the poor bird. We had to then wait until 6:30 or so to eat pie because there just wasn't enough room for it. So all of the adults went into the living room and fell asleep (with the exception of myself) and Taryn crashed out too... Ash and I played and colored and looked at black Friday Ads until every one else was up and ready to have some pie.
We found out that Ashlynn really likes turkey and she picked all the black olives and mushrooms out of the stuffing and left the rest, she also picked all of the cherries and fruit cocktail out of the marshmallow salad and left the marshmallows. Later we found out that she REALLY likes Lemon Meringue Pie, and apple pie.
By seven our oldest was TIRED. and I do mean that with capital letters. So we brought her and her sister home and they were both out like lights by eight thirty at night. A little earlier than usual, but it was a big day. Seems like it passed in a blur... but that is mainly because I was at a stove for a good portion of it. It was Taryn's first Thanksgiving.... though it wasn't all that big of a deal she didn't get any of it. Instead she watched with an eagle eye as all of us stuffed ourselves... I don't think this no solid food thing will fly for long.
It is Ashlynn's third Thanksgiving... but she was REALLY little for her first ( three weeks ) and last year she was pretty sick with the flu!
As I said in the beginning it is the first one that I hosted.... I kind of thought that a picture should have been taken to commemorate such and event.... but I didn't think about that until WAY too late. Oh well it isn't the turkey you all want to look at anyways... and for the record I also didn't get any pictures of MY little turkeys from that day... but I have lots of older ones that I can share with you... so sit back and enjoy.

I found a little bit of time two days in a row.... I wanted to take the time to blog so that I can document it. I don't think I will have long so if I leave off mid-sentence then you know for sure one of the girls woke up. It is a Thursday and a rather mundane day in our household.... but it was a day where we were all able to take a few minutes and play together. It was a day when I could hear Dave reading to Ash as I was putting T down for a nap. A day when daddy had stopped at the store and gotten Ash a surprise on his way home last night so she was given it in the morning. It was a day where we just enjoyed being a family. Now the girls are napping and Dave is off to work and I am sitting her blogging with you while I smell the candle that Dave got me last night on the way home from work. It is the little things that make a life worth living. Those things that make you stop and say " THIS IS THE BEST FAMILY EVER!!!!" We are rich in our household. Yeah okay so we are poor financially and there is a struggle on the best of weeks... but that isn't really how we measure our lives here. Instead we are measuring by the laughs that we share in a day. We fill up our souls and then we just keep laughing. It starts with a smile and it grows into something bigger. THAT is how we measure our lives here. And if we get even one laugh a day we are okay... but on days like today when we laugh all day long gold coins are falling from heaven.
There have been some sacrifices that have been made. Just ask my living room floor. I haven't cleaned it since this morning so it is a mess. Ash is so very helpful when it comes to laying out her toys so that we can see everything that she has. It is actually a boon to us as we approach this holiday season because we are constantly aware of what she has and what she needs. :) I asked Dave on Sunday if he thought that I would be this much of a slob with another man or if he would be this much of a slob with another woman, or if this is a result of the two of us rubbing off on each other. He laughed at me and said in a moment of blunt honesty. " Sweetheart, I have always been this way. I am simply living up to past potential. Its you that has crossed over to the dark side!" I thought on that and then had to laugh with him... because he was right. Before my children were born I was the one that cleaned the house. When I was working he always had a job that had him home a day during the week and working a day on the weekend. I would take that day and I would clean our house. Every two weeks when we had a day that the boys weren't over I would bleach the kitchen and the bathroom and while I was cleaning the house top to bottom I was also getting laundry done running in and out to go to the laundromat. But with the introduction of full time kids.... my rhythm got thrown off. I figured out how to pick that rhythm up when Ash was 4 or 5 months old... but it meant that I was in perpetual motion from the time I got up until I went to bed... and then she got the hang of walking and it got thrown off again. THEN I got pregnant.... and of course had a down time where the house fell apart again ( it always does when I am pregnant) So here I am again trying to figure out the rhythm... the thing is that now having two kids I am a little bogged down with kids a lot of the time.... so things don't get done. I have let the house go and I don't know exactly how to get it back into shape. I took all those books seriously when they said not to worry about the house you have a newborn. So we are all getting a used to a house that is ummmm less than ummmm well tidy.
There are other sacrifices... You know little things like personal time for mom. Which is why I am blogging instead of cleaning... because YES I have a minute but NO I am not cleaning... because I am taking a minute to keep myself sane, because if I don't then I will have a clean house and no one in it will be happy. You see I have an untidy house... but we are all happy in it. Except when the house has gotten to maximum density and then we all pitch in to clean it. I shouldn't even be writing this... I am a stay at home mom how the hell does any one keep a house when they have to work. But then a friend of mine who works told me that it is actually easier when you work, because the kids mess up someone else's house and you only have to worry about the weekends. HMMMM there might be something to it. Because Ash is a master at cleaning out her toy box in record time. Not to mention the best place for her books seems to be the floor so she know what she has. I'm not worried about it I look at it this way in a few months I will have number two walking too, then I am really in for it. So I am going to enjoy it while I can. :)
But my time is over! My princesses have awoken and so it is time for me to go read stories and watch Beauty and the BEast for the millionth time. Hey when I get over the guilt it is a great job to have playing with my kids all day long.

Warning: get with in arms reach of child at your own risk!

And as a foot note to the above title... she may not even be looking at you when she grabs. We have all learned the hard way in the last few weeks that little hands can hold on tight. The other day I hear a strangled "Babe can you help hear?" from my husband only to look over and see that the tornado had gotten a good hold on his beard and was busy making him do what ever it was she wanted. I untangled those little hands only to watch as that little hand shot out and grabbed his beard again. She did not look at him, as a matter of fact she was looking in the opposite direction. Perhaps to lull him into a sense of relative safety. But that little hand meant business... She grabbed and pulled and I watched as my husbands face started to follow a few seconds before his head did. I realized watching his grimace that this could be a valuable tactic if used correctly.
Also the other day I ran to get something in the kitchen leaving my two little girls on the bed only to return to the bedroom to Ashlynn whimpering. She was bent over Taryn, and could not move as Taryn had a very large handful of hair and was playing it close to her chest. Poor Ash kept saying " No baby that's my hair!" She was in tears after only a moment, though I think it was more from hurt feelings, because when I untangled the little fingers from her locks she wanted to know why baby had done that to her. I explained that baby was just learning to use her hands and hadn't done it on purpose and consoled Ash with a hug or two. I also have been relieved of my hair in the last few days. Indeed one day Dave grabbed the babe and his eyes got wide and he called me over to look. There was a few strands of my hair wrapped so tightly around her finger it was red and a little purple looking. " Ouch" he said... I had to ask whether he was talking about her or me.... he thought for a moment and then said... "Both of you I guess!"
But my personal favorite hands down happened to miss Abigail. I have been chasing that dog away from Taryn since she was old enough to put in the swing. Abby is constantly licking her. I personally find that disgusting and so I am always after Abs to get AWAY from the baby. Still she manages to get past my guard and get those licks in. Well I was changing the babe on the couch the other day when Abs slipped in and started a lick fest... but before I could chase her away she started crying. I looked and Taryn had grabbed her tongue and had a good hold on it with that little hand and Abby wasn't able to get her tongue back. Now I know that my response was entirely inappropriate ( as the dog was whining in pain) but I started laughing and I do mean laughing... tears rolling down my face laughing. Strangely enough it startled Taryn into looking at me and letting go of Abby's tongue. It took me a minute until I could tell my curious husband what had just happened... he thought it was pretty funny too, and I kind of looked at it as Karma.
So our house is slowly getting healthy again. It has run the gamut and Ash and T and I are still coughing but getting better. Dave has a sinus infection ( I KNOW RIGHT) which is almost hard to believe as he was on a course of antibiotics for ten days for an ear infection. I still won't let Ash play outside because she is still coughing.... for that matter so am I and so is T. She is not happy with that on the sunny days, but I want her fully recovered! Instead we are watching Disney movies one after another. My life now has a soundtrack to it and it is of those catchy little tunes that are on Tinkerbell and Beauty and the Beast. What is really sad is that I actually dream with those songs going on in my head now and wake up in the morning with the songs running through my head with not even a little bit of an interruption. I guess I am learning what it means to be a stay at home mom of a two year old!
Ashlynn has become a lover of all things princess. I somehow thought when I was pregnant with her that I was going to keep her away from the commercialized princess stuff peddled by Disney... but then I had the kid and had to get real. Just like I swore I wouldn't have a baby that squealed at inappropriate times in the store or a little girl with a high pitched shrill scream that one is going by the way side. Oh how the righteous fall. It is so easy to judge when you are not a parent and haven't been there. Ash has been told since birth that she is my princess... and so she now tells everyone who will listen that " Ashlynn is a princess!" And we have a book on what a princess is that was put out by Disney. Beautiful, kind, brave etc etc and so forth. So she will follow with "Ashlynn is kind! Ashlynn is beautiful!" Well Dave taught her to end her litany with "Ashlynn is modest!" It is really cute to listen to. She is only slightly spoiled. Though I guess I wouldn't say that she is spoiled really. She is a very well behaved child and she listens really well... And she IS kind and beautiful and brave and so many other things too. I will tell her a million times that she is beautiful in the hopes that when she meets that nasty little girl who tries to tell her differently when she is older that she has been told enough that it doesn't shake her confidence. I would shield her from the world if I could. But I know that wouldn't do any good. Still I tell her as often as I can how beautiful she is and how much I love her in the hopes that when I am not with her she has it to hold onto!
So off I go to cuddle my ladies and whisper into their ears that they are loved and cherished before I fall off to sleep. My cousin's best friend lost their 11 month old daughter on Tuesday. The TV fell on her and crushed her. So many little ones in this world lost. I told Dave the other day that the only thing that I can take from all of it is to try and remember to make the most of the time that I have. I want so much to protect them from all of the bad in this world. I would do anything to keep them healthy, to fight the battles for them. But I can't. Margaret Thatcher was quoted as saying " Becoming a mother means recognizing from that day forward that your heart resides somewhere other than your own body." How true it is. Remember sweet Skye's family in your prayers tonight, because that mother's heart is broken.

Can we say quaranteen?

Okay so Ashlynn has been back to the doc and did indeed have the influenza... and guess what??? I got it too! Isn't that exciting... NOT! 101 degree temp and zero energy a cough that won't quit my chest feeling like it has been kicked by a horse.... need I go on. I could but I won't who wants to be bored by all of that. And then on top of all that my little tornado has fallen ill. Today we had temps of 101 and she is SO uncomfortable. My poor little pumpkin. But the flu is a virus and like all viruses we have to ride it out and offer comfort care. Let me tell you comfort care SUCKS because all you want at a certain point is to feel better. I was longing for bedtime minutes after I got up the last couple of days..... and while I feel awful for my little girls I will mention that at least they can go to bed and take a nap when they want to. I will say though that I am grateful for the timing. I got sick in between the girls so I was able to be up and able to take care of Ash and while still recovering myself able to be up and able to take care of Taryn too. If either one of them had gotten sick on Wednesday I am not sure that I could have cared for them very well, and whats worse I am not sure that I would have cared at a certain point. I know that makes me sound like a terrible mother... but that is the truth and a measure of how bad I felt. Dave is recovered from his ear infection... and we are hoping that he will be free of this damn awful stuff.
Needless to say there has not been much excitement in our house lately. However T is getting doggone close to being able to sit unsupported for short times. Right now she does the tripod sit, where she sits and leans on her hands in between her legs and plays with a toy. She is a cutie and a half. Ash has been put on an allergy medicine that she takes once a day to prevent the wheezing that is caused by allergies and which can start an asthma attack. It seems to be helping actually. The doc asked about how frequently she gets colds, and determined that we are actually looking at allergies more often than not. So we are hoping that this new allergy med combined with the antihistamine that she takes each night will keep her healthier this fall and next spring. Keep your fingers crossed. Right now she is using an inhaler to help her through the coughing of the flu and we will determine once she is well if it is something she needs regularly. I am hoping not. But if she needs it I would rather have her be comfortable.
WE GOT OUR CAR FIXED!Yes you read that right! After nearly a full month we were able to get the doggone car fixed. Thank you FATHER! I was half convinced that the cold rides on the bike were what caused Dave's ear infection. And while I am intelligent enough to know that is not the case, I am willing to bet that those rides didn't HELP that ear infection. He had to miss three days of work last week because of it. Kind of difficult to build pallets when your dizzy as hell. So we are very very grateful that we were able to save enough to fix the car.
On a sad note the young lady I was telling you all about Miss Sydney Ives passed on Saturday. Her life was a good one and her family is celebrating the life that she had. They are so very very strong in their faith which has carried them through this ordeal. Sydney is now in peace! Her spirit will live in peace from this day forward. And indeed that is the theme of the service that they had today. At grave side they released teal balloons, so if you see a teal balloon think of Syd. Please keep her family in your prayers and thoughts.

Our little Ash is sick sick sick right now.. so is Daddy. Dave has an ear infection that is really messing with his equilibrium and his hearing. The doc was amazed that he wasn't in there a long time ago. Ash has been sick for weeks. This lingering cough from the virus that we all got a couple of weeks ago. She had a chest X-ray yesterday ( let me tell you that is a study in torture for someone so little). It didn't have any Pneumonia in it. But the doc said that it was stranded. I have NO idea what that means but it is apparently something we didn't have to worry too much about. They would have given her the Z-pack had she not been allergic to it. So instead they sent us home to ride it out. She has had a temp hovering around 102 most of the day and in order to get it down we were doing tepid baths and cold wash cloths. Dave and my parents went to the grocery store to get anything and everything she might eat. I guess in a way I am grateful that Dave was home from work with and ear infection today because Ash was a full time job and Taryn still wanted attention. Not to mention all Ash would do at a certain point was lay in my lap and cry. I believe that she has the flu... but we don't have a culture that will confirm that because when we were at the docs office yesterday her temp wasn't high enough for the doc to think that it was the flu.... it is now though. So we are riding it out and watching her very very carefully. That asthma that they kept warning us might come due to her having eczema and hay fever has shown its self a little bit with this cold and we have an inhaler that we use for her periodically. I am sure that it will go away when she is feeling better.... that is my hope at any rate.
Taryn was sick last week but seems better now. We are hoping that she will be somewhat protected by the nursing. Breast milk has a TON of white blood cells in it and serves as a protectant from a lot of these aspirated viruses. So keep those fingers crossed for us. She is SOOOOO much fun right now. She is smiling and laughing ( you know those big belly laughs that make you laugh with her) She is grabbing things with those little hands. Did I mention she is SOOOOOO much fun. I tickle her with every diaper change and she has gotten to the point that she laughs and giggles when I lay her down for a diaper change. I am madly madly crazy in love with my newest daughter. I worried all through my pregnancy with her about whether I could love two. I didn't want to take anything away from Ash. I didn't think I could love another child as much as I love Ash and that worried me for the new baby. But the amazing thing is that when that second child your heart just gets bigger and the love is there. I ADORE my little Taryn the tornado. She is vastly different from her sister but that just makes her all the more precious. While I adore my Ashlynn bear.. I don't need a carbon of her I have her. So I like the differences.... well most times. Taryn's temper is a little more vocal and at times I wish that she were a little more laid back but then she wouldn't be my little tornado would she.
I have a few videos that I will attach. The one of Taryn is very dark. But I want to share it because of the laughs, I just wish that you could hear them. Some day soon perhaps.
On a sad note the young lady who had me crying last time I wrote, Sydney is home with hospice care and is literally as I write in her final hours. She is only 11 and will be going home to the Father. My heart and prayers go out to the Ives family. I don't understand why someone so young must go, but I know that it is what she wants at this point. She has asked that we all pray that if she can't be healed here on earth that God take her now so that she CAN be healed. It breaks her mother Tasha's heart but that is what she has asked us all to pray for. The last update that I got said that Syd's breathing is labored and she is never conscious for more than a few minutes. So I guess I ask that all of you keep this family in your prayers.

Life is about the getting up

I just found out that a very dear friend of mine has miscarried. I am sitting here crying as I type this wondering why these things happen to good people. They have been trying to have a baby since 2004. They have done every thing and finally resorted to invitro. It took and they were over the moon! But only a few short weeks later here they are mourning the loss of that pregnancy. It breaks my heart and tears me to pieces, the idea of these good people who would be such good parents going through that loss. So why is it that good people who would make remarkable parents have to struggle so hard to reach that goal? Another friend of mine is dealing with her 11 year old daughter who has an inoperable brain tumor. Sydney is not expected to live much longer. Every single child is a miracle. That is so clearly understood when you hold a baby. Every single child on this earth is a miracle. So it seems again so unfair to have a child for such a short time. Sydney is one of those children who is wise beyond her years and she is dealing with her illness with far more aplomb than most adults do. Syd went into the hospital and they don't know if she will be coming out this time. Both of these bits of news were received by me this evening. But I also heard from my friend Fran who delivered a 7lb 10 ounce baby boy on Friday. So I guess God is trying to show me the good with the bad. So Gabriel comes into this world healthy and serves as a reminder that life continues on. And it does. And it will for Kammi and Matt and for the Ives family.
We have been very very lucky, Dave and I. There have been a few miracles along the way that have helped us on the path of becoming parents and we never gave up. We have two beautiful little girls in the bedroom sleeping right now that are the result of a lot of hard work and a lot of faith and hope. Those children serve as a testament to our faith and the love that we have for each other. They are a reminder that life is precious. They are the reason there is a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I would have survived if I could never have had them. I know this. I would have picked up and moved on.... but now the idea of a life with out them seems empty and barren. I feel so very blessed by them. I feel so grateful that my husband was with me as we tried again and again. They are so very very precious to me and I thank God every day for them.
I had big plans to tell you all about a second birthday and Halloween.... but somehow all I want to do is crawl into bed with my princesses. So I will tell you about both of those things later and for right now add a few picture of my beautiful little miracles.
Kammi and Matt my heart goes out to you. I love you both so very much. Sydney I still am holding out for you being healed, though I know if God calls you home it is because you are an angel and too good for this earth. Gabriel I know that you will have a full and happy life and your mommy is so very happy that you are here. Welcome to the world baby boy. It is filled with joy and wonder that will fill you up and it is filled with pain and anguish that will knock you down. The trick is to remember that life is all about the getting up not the falling down.