Monday, July 7, 2008

what a long strange trip this is



A had her first fourth of July this last weekend... not that she could tell the difference between the fourth and any other day out there. I worked in the morning and part of the afternoon. When I got home my husband decided to treat me out so off we went to eat dinner and then to get him a pair of much needed new tennis shoes. ( next pay check it will be my turn : ) Every where we went someone new was telling us how cute our baby was. I will admit that I never get tired of that. Most also asked if we were planning to take her to the fire works. Dave and I were on the fence with that one for a while, but finally opted out of the fireworks. We figured since they don't even start until after her bed time we might be flirting with danger as a lot of children her age are scared by them anyway. Let's be honest something that has the potential to be scary is bound to be a lot worse if baby is over tired. Dave hasn't ever been a real fan of fireworks on top of all of it, so he got out of it again this year.

Over all it was a very uneventful first fourth for our little one. I suppose it is just as well, as that is most likely how they will continue. Dave and I have never been people to make a big deal out of the holiday. Until our little one was born we had a tradition of going to a movie and getting the largest tub of popcorn we can. As we only go to movies once or twice a year it is a nice treat. We were not able to do that this year as A doesn't really sit quietly through a movie anymore. We have a few years before she will be a welcome addition to a movie theater. We however love watching movies with her, because she actually watches the movie and even better mimics the sounds that the characters make. It is a riot and Dave and I love to watch her.

She is becoming a toddler before our eyes. There are still the remnants of a baby there, and we enjoy them all, but one by one they fade away. She is getting braver everyday, and now cruises all around the room holding onto whatever she can get her hands on. Some days I can see the calculations going on in that little brain as she looks at something out of her reach and wonders if she will be able to get to it. She scares the crud out of me daily. I want so badly to scoop her up and keep her safe... but I have to let her take the risks, it is the only way that she will learn her limitations and expand her horizons. She amazes me as she lets go of the chair to bend down and pick something up. She appalls me as she tries to pull up on the rocker. She keeps me riveted as she pulls the table cloth to bring what she wants on the table closer.... all the while standing under it in a very precarious position. She buzzes around the house in her walker now and chases the dog and the cat in the contraption. She pulls down my laundry and she plays in it with delight. My days are seldom boring.

When I was praying to have a healthy child I swore that I wouldn't take a single second for granted. Eight months into parenthood, I am still trying very hard to fulfill that promise to myself. I try to enjoy every second. I relish even the difficult parts of parenting this child. Never in my life have I had a job that I have loved as much as being A's mommy. I take a moment every single time that I nurse this little one to thank God for her and for the ability to be able to nourish and nurture her by nursing her. I never look to the days when she can... I try only to enjoy the right now. By contrast I also try very hard not to look back the the days when she used to... as every day is something new and I do not want to miss a thing by being mired in the past. I have a beautiful wonderful child who I enjoy so entirely I cannot express it.

I do however love looking back over our older photos.... I look at the little peanut that she was and at the superchunk (Dave's nick name for her) and I am awed at how much can change in a few short months. I realized the other day that we have had A longer now than we knew we were pregnant... although not quite as long as we were pregnant. It blows my mind how much she has grown and changed. What a wild ride!

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