Dave and I have always made a good couple. We have a lot in common, while having differences enough to make life interesting. We fight knock down drag out style about once a year, and we spat and bicker about once or twice a month. ( read once or twice a week if Dave is quitting smoking again. : ) We both love to laugh and work diligently at doing it often. We both have similar goals and work towards having the same simple life.We have survived a miscarriage, the loss of two children, as well as the hell that his ex put us through and the loss of his two children from that marriage. We have made it through, even though more than 50% of marriages do not survive some of the hardships that we have faced.
One of the major differences between us is the way that we approach change. Dave embraces it and even looks for it. I however avoid change at all cost and when I have to, face it kicking and screaming. So for me the thought of having a child and how it would effect our life was daunting. I was wary. As much as I desired to be a mommy, I did not want to change the wife that I was or the husband that he was. Dave on the other hand approached the coming change in a very Dave way," Relax baby, it will just be us.... with a child. Things won't change that much." I for the record thought that he would be in for a rude awakening. Changes this big don't happen with out huge ripples.
So along comes Ashlynn. And it is yes a huge change in our life. But I couldn't care less about the change when I look at our beautiful little girl. For the first several weeks it was chaos. There was no such thing as schedule. Mom's little black and white world was turned upside down. The couple of weeks after that we got used to the chaos.... Kind of. And now three months later we are cautiously optomistic that we will acheive something approaching normalcy with in the next 18 years or so. Still there are some of the markers of our old life that make us aware of the fact that our life is still ours. We are becoming more and more aware that we are still us, just as Dave said, just with a few adjustments.
So along comes Ashlynn. And it is yes a huge change in our life. But I couldn't care less about the change when I look at our beautiful little girl. For the first several weeks it was chaos. There was no such thing as schedule. Mom's little black and white world was turned upside down. The couple of weeks after that we got used to the chaos.... Kind of. And now three months later we are cautiously optomistic that we will acheive something approaching normalcy with in the next 18 years or so. Still there are some of the markers of our old life that make us aware of the fact that our life is still ours. We are becoming more and more aware that we are still us, just as Dave said, just with a few adjustments.
We have a very happy smiley little girl who has rounded our life out. There is nothing in this world that makes me happier than hearing my baby and my daughter playing together. There are few things in this world that give me peace in the way that the sight of my daughter snuggled up with my husband, both of them asleep does. So it is like it was, only somehow better, fuller. I guess that Dave and I were both right in a way. We are a family now and that makes for an adventure every day.
That is not to say that Dave and I aren't still very much a couple. We steal our snuggles and sneak our kisses. We have all the more fun for it. On Sunday when we all three pile onto the couch to watch movies and eat snacks, we know the definition of contentment. When we all pile into our bed and sleep all the better for the three of us being together we know what family means. Yes I like our rounded out life. For all the trepidation the contemplation of this change caused, I wouldn't change it for the world...
But God even the thought of having another scares the hell out of me!!!
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