I apologize in advance for this whine session. There is really nothing more irritating than a whiner I know. Today has been one of THOSE days.... you know the day that you think nothing else can go wrong only to find out that God took that as a dare and whoops there you go it gets worse. A large part of it all is my attitude, I am aware of this. But Dang some days you just want a break. I am tired of the constant struggle.... trying to figure out how to fit all the peices into the puzzle.
So here goes.... it is Christmas.... and we are broke. I'm not talking presents are a little light this year maybe next year will be better. No we are more in the how will we make it to next week boat. I am grateful that we had taken care of A in August.... but that is little solace when we are bouncing checks for dinner. ( Well no that's not really true... it is really good to know that she will have gifts to open.) And here we sit looking at the fact that we are having another in a few months.... and we haven't purchased a single present for a single person... in favor of leaving the bounced checks for dinner.
This puts me in a less than stellar mindset. Couple that with a teething baby who also has a cold and is just over an ear infection and a daddy who never lets anything bug him.... and there is disaster on the horizon. I am a worrier. I stew and worry and think things over until I have an answer and when I don't find and answer I just worry more. This leads to a little bit of depression over our less than stellar situation. So the house has been a little hard to be in today as I have been in a tough mood and so has A. Dave has been avoiding both of us..... which is impossible when your house is as small as ours.
So in total desperation Dave sent me to the store to pick a few things up.... in hopes of improving my mood by getting me out of the house. This was already a bust as I did a few calculations after writing my check and realized that we can't fill the tank with out overdrawing. F*&%K! So on the way home the car ( that we had to fix last weekend) kills on me not once but twice. Both times showing me that little battery light. Double F*&$K! Dave was really cool when I told him not only that we couldn't afford gas but that he was going to spend his Sunday trying to figure out what is wrong with the car.
That doesn't even get into the brand new pack of butt wipes all over the house because the kid found them.... or the full bowl of dog water that was dumped all over the kitchen because the kid found it.... or the fact that every time I sit down for five seconds I am supposed to have velcro baby in my lap. Nor does it touch on the fact that she got into my files today ( 7 years of check stubs all over the floor) or the 45 minute nap that wasn't NEARLY enough. As I sit here stealing five minutes to type I am listening to screaming that makes my fingernails hurt. And I'm going to have another one of these demons.
I have read about these days from other parents. The I love my kid but please save me from them moments. I've even had them.... but today has been a tough one for all of us.... and it ain't getting any easier for sure. Calgon Take Me Away! Gratefully these days are few and far in between. And hopefully we will all be able to wake up on the correct side of bed tomorrow. Right now I just want PEACE!
As I said in the beginning I do apologize. As a rule I try to complain as little as possible. We all have our struggles, and mine are really very trivial in the long and the short. I have a husband who loves me and a beautiful daughter. I have a family that does what they can and friends who are there for me. Nor are my troubles all that unique right now. It just felt good to vent. And now let me say I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and that you spend it with people you love. I will be and that makes me very blessed indeed!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment